Friday, October 25th 2013 - 14:07 UTC

Feeling unhappy, try Orwellian Venezuela: Maduro creates the “Supreme Happiness” office

Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro announced the creation of the “Supreme Happiness Under Secretary” to address social debt shortcomings and which was in honor of the late Commandant and president Hugo Chavez and the country's liberator, Simon Bolivar.

Maduro announced the initiative ahead of the December municipal elections which could bring surprises to food short Venezuela

“Comrade Rafael Rios will be responsible for implementing and coordinating the famous missions created by our 'perpetual Commandant' with the purpose of ensuring 'supreme social happiness'” said Maduro on a national address from the Miraflores Palace. Rios is a former lawmaker and military.

The Orwellian and Kim Il Sung style announcements coincide with the creation of the “Loyalty and Love to Hugo Chavez Day” and come a few weeks ahead of the 8 December municipal elections which could bring surprises to the Bolivarian revolution ravaged by the most serious economic shortcomings in a decade particularly the lack of sufficient food and basics in the country's stores.

“These missions we have to take them to reach heaven, which is our eternal thanks to Chavez”, said Maduro underlining it's another 'social advance in the struggle against the perfidy of capitalism“.

”The supreme happiness office will look after our handicapped brothers and sisters, those who are homeless, our old folks, our children, addressing the most sublime, the most sensitive, the most loved for all those who consider themselves Bolivarian revolutionaries“.

But the presidential decision is nothing new: the so called social missions which existed from the very first moment of the Chavez revolution eroded with time gobbled by corruption and bureaucracy. However Chavez use to resuscitate the cadaver before election campaigns.

Maduro admitted the shortcomings: ”we must improve the missions, with the three 'r' review, rectification and re-launching, so that they reach all children, the homeless children we can still see every day in the streets“.

Street or homeless children was one of the battle cries of Chavez during his fourteen years in office including his famous statement: ”I will not allow a single child in the streets, and if so, I will resign to my name Hugo Chavez“. However the situation is spastic with sudden bursts of improvement and then again falls back.

”A Socialist, Christian, humanist state as the one we are building needs a quality leap in caring for our children and old folks“, insisted Maduro who also created another 'supreme happiness' office under the name of ”Sovereign People” to combat pending social debts and exclusion. Here again another military officer will be responsible.

This way military officers loyal to former president Chavez keep taking over of new government spaces. General Hebert Garcia Plaza, was named president of the Superior Office for the Defense of the Economy, and the Strategic Superior Centre for Homeland Security and Protection is headed by General Gustavo Gonzalez.

21 comments Feed

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1 yankeeboy (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 02:32 pm Report abuse
Bat Sh*t Crazy

any other descriptors come to mind?
2 trenchtoast (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 02:51 pm Report abuse
Congratulations to Chairman Maduro on making the leap from bus driver to loony despot. Anyway, I think I prefer the Google translation, “The Ministry of Ultimate Bliss”.
3 Troy Tempest (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 03:16 pm Report abuse
“Office of Orgasms”???
4 Conqueror (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 03:21 pm Report abuse
Congratulations to the MAD urinator. First there was a little bird. Then there's the innumerable assassination “plots”. Now there's “supreme happiness”. Meanwhile, Venezuela imports “oil” products. No trouble with the lack of bog paper. You don't need bog paper if you aren't eating. And just look, “Comrade Rafael Rios”. And check the intentions. Doesn't commie China, commie North Korea, commie Cuba have the same aspirations? Couldn't someone with intelligence trot along and shoot the wanker?
5 ElaineB (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 04:05 pm Report abuse
LOL. Surly there will be a film made about this man? Comedy all the way.
6 Britninja (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 04:06 pm Report abuse
Say what you like about the guy, but he's a snappy dresser!
7 Captain Poppy (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 04:09 pm Report abuse
Mandatory goose step classes will surely follow once everyone is aware that they are supremely happy and merely needed a subtle reminder from the central committee.

Are they issuing the bullet with his name on it yet.....or will he just disappear?
8 knarfw (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 06:35 pm Report abuse
Mad as a box of frogs.
9 Britworker (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 07:21 pm Report abuse
There is a really lovely pic of our Royal Family on the BA Herald website with the new king. And then you see a picture here what the Venezuelan's have to admire. No wonder they are up the creek.
10 ChrisR (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 07:34 pm Report abuse
Really loved the Scouser Shell Suit!

But I have found one for the ranking naval officer detailed to advise TMBOA on her “Navy”.

It would suit A_Voice down to the ground!
11 Pirate Love (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 09:48 pm Report abuse
Krusty the clown has just been announced grand wizard for giggles and supreme happiness by the dear father Maduro and his imaginary god like pet bird “chubby”.

whats next a ministry for Straw hats??
12 GFace (#) Oct 25th, 2013 - 11:09 pm Report abuse
Will they soon be blocking “Grumpy Cat” memes in Venezuela?
13 redp0ll (#) Oct 26th, 2013 - 05:07 am Report abuse
Orwellian yes.
Big brother is watching you.
For those who have read Orwells novel Winston exclaimed to his lover Julia, an ardent member of the Antisex League “you are only a rebel below the belt”
So female circumcision the next step in what that little bird told Maduro?
14 reality check (#) Oct 26th, 2013 - 10:55 am Report abuse
Suggestions for a new name for his identical palace.

“Inn of the Sixth happiness.”

The, “Mad house” is disqualified on the grounds it is to obvious.
15 War Monkey (#) Oct 26th, 2013 - 12:36 pm Report abuse
I think he might have succeeded in his purpose because I am p!ssing myself laughing here.

Perpetual Commandant?! Supreme Happiness Under Secretary? All delivered wearing a nuclear vomit coloured shell suite?

Love those tweeds.
16 Casper (#) Oct 26th, 2013 - 06:08 pm Report abuse
I think MercoPress's Art Director has an excellent sense of humour.
17 Brit Bob (#) Oct 26th, 2013 - 06:16 pm Report abuse
Didn't Ken Dodd have a hit with a song called 'Happiness?'

Perhaps Doddy should be made Venezuelan Minister of Happiness...

And the Diddymen could help the Venezuelans produce more toilet rolls...
18 ElaineB (#) Oct 26th, 2013 - 06:32 pm Report abuse
@16 I completely agree. The photo editor never fails to make me laugh.
19 Musky (#) Oct 27th, 2013 - 02:48 pm Report abuse
@17 Brit Bob
I'd rather live in Knotty Ash than in a country controlled by this idiot of a man. What in the name of Zarquon is going on? How can this guy be a president.. or is this insanity a pre-requisite for Venezuelan leaders.
20 Brit Bob (#) Oct 27th, 2013 - 03:22 pm Report abuse
@19 I concur with you thoughts entirely.
21 Gordo1 (#) Oct 31st, 2013 - 07:35 pm Report abuse
This is very amusing!

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