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Toilet paper shortage is because ‘Venezuelans are eating more’ argues the government

Friday, May 24th 2013 - 07:45 UTC
Full article 48 comments

A few hours after the Venezuelan congress voted a 79 million dollars credit for the import of 39 million rolls of toilet paper and other personal hygiene items, the government of President Nicolas Maduro said this was because “Venezuelans are eating more”. Read full article

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  • Troy Tempest

    ”A few hours after the Venezuelan congress voted a 79 million dollars credit for the import of 39 million rolls of toilet paper and other personal hygiene items, the government of President Nicolas Maduro said this was because “Venezuelans are eating more”.

    Maduro is full of it!
    LOL !!!!

    May 24th, 2013 - 08:09 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • LEPRecon

    Wow, Venezuelans eating 3 meals a day!

    Anywhere else in the world 3 meals a day would be considered normal, but obviously in Venezuela it's considered surprising!

    May 24th, 2013 - 08:27 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Monkeymagic

    they have just flushed a big turd away...

    May 24th, 2013 - 09:35 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Britworker

    Well after voting in that nutter, they are clearly full of shit!

    May 24th, 2013 - 09:49 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • willi1

    one thinks ck is the most crazy in the world - but no - there is another fool even more.
    is that because of too much sun in south america?

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:01 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Captain Poppy

    It says it all about the country when you have a minister of food. What next a minister of toilet paper? Venezuelan currency would have worked just as well.

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:02 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • expbrit

    I imagine toilet paper would be quite filling...

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:20 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Faz

    #3 Has Timerman been sacked or something?

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:32 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • trenchtoast

    No loo roll, but he's now taking about handing out weapons to create a “Boliviarian Workers Militia”, with a total of up to two million people. Ach mein Gott!!

    May 24th, 2013 - 11:28 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Mendoza Canadian

    A laugh a minute....Venecubans must be so happy...

    May 24th, 2013 - 11:32 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • CJvR

    It is good to see the Venezuelans getting a laugh, they will certainly have payed enough for it.

    May 24th, 2013 - 12:22 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    ironic that a country run on bullshit has no toilet roll.
    is this the chavism he promised? its a pity that little talking “chubby” bird halucination didn't predict a shortage of shit roll then his people wouldn't be walking round with leaves in their ass.

    May 24th, 2013 - 12:26 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • RedBaron

    So where are they going to put all the toilet paper and contents when it has been used? Will they need to allocate another $ 250 million to build new sewage treatment works, or just pour it all into the sea?

    May 24th, 2013 - 12:30 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • MarkWhelan

    They will probably build a sewerage treatment plant. The USA is the country that just dumps it's shit and everything else into the Atlantic.

    May 24th, 2013 - 01:32 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Welsh Wizard

    Maduro has just announced that he intends to arm 2m of the workers in the country, the indea is to generate “respect” between political opponents. The reason for this militia is to defend the country

    May 24th, 2013 - 01:44 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • bushpilot

    Can anybody explain why this country never bothered to learn how to make their own toilet paper?

    May 24th, 2013 - 01:48 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • trenchtoast

    Don't they grow a lot of corn ? Corn Cobs are supposed to be even better than toilet paper.

    May 24th, 2013 - 02:01 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    @17, and reusable! communial cob on a rope.....you could be on to something there!

    May 24th, 2013 - 03:14 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    Take my advice, do not eat the corn first!

    May 24th, 2013 - 03:23 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Beresford

    @17. Should the corn be used as some king of plug!

    May 24th, 2013 - 04:10 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Ayayay

    This is fuhnny because in parts of Africa, they actually generate a lot of poo because fiber. Lots of plant material. So Venezuelans never ate as good as Africàns?

    And where are the bidets?

    May 24th, 2013 - 04:34 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • briton

    If they stopped all the bullshit,
    they would not need the paper..lol.

    May 24th, 2013 - 06:45 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • lsolde

    Sounds like a load of crap to me.

    May 24th, 2013 - 06:48 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    begs the question what were they using for loo roll, answers on a postcard if it hasn't already been used.

    May 24th, 2013 - 06:54 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    I have no idea what they use, but it makes you think twice before shaking their hands, yukkkk!

    May 24th, 2013 - 07:05 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Britworker

    @24
    They are using the argentine 100 peso note, there are thousands of Venezuelans walking around with Peron's head printed on their anus.

    May 24th, 2013 - 07:10 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    always knew the argentine peso was dirty money, I bet more shit came off the peso than the ass.

    that's why those 900000 Venezuelans didn't vote, they put the voting slip to better use and dug the kaka nuggets from the rusty mine.

    May 24th, 2013 - 07:32 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Brasileiro

    Viva a Venezuela! In my next vacation, i will be there! Long live, Brothers!!!

    May 24th, 2013 - 07:50 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    Do not forget to pack the extra toilet paper, you can wipe the brothers asses for them. Now that is solidarity!

    May 24th, 2013 - 08:00 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Brasileiro

    No problem. The forest rain is rich in NEWS PAPERS!!!!

    May 24th, 2013 - 08:07 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    @30 the only log you'll be carrying around is the one pushing out of your ass, maybe some sort of holiday diaper would be in order.....happy trails!

    May 24th, 2013 - 09:01 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • commonsparrow

    How stupid. What a stupid correlation, more toilet paper=more goings to the bathroom. Have these guys learned any basic science? IF ANYTHING, the Venezuelan people are eating poorly, more than EVER!!!!! More fat, more undigestible grains, more bad water. They are not healthy if they are going to the bathroom more, so there, I have correlated your stupid statement to the facts.

    May 24th, 2013 - 09:31 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Brasileiro

    Sorry man, the british are stupid.....they try divided our land......like devils......

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:36 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    Lol, you do a pretty good job of that on your own, without our help.

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:42 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Captain Poppy

    #33 Do you have to work at saying stupids thinks or is it genetically inherent? The developed world is not undermining SA....your leaders are doing that.

    May 24th, 2013 - 10:50 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    @33 you should be past bedtime stories at your age...
    out of curiosity are you indigenous to the lands you inhabit?? or did your Spanish/Portuguese forefathers divide the land and steal it from the indigenous natives?? either way Britain isn't to blame. look at yourselves.

    May 25th, 2013 - 12:36 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • lsolde

    @33 Brasileiro,
    lf we are stupid, then you must be stupider.
    And the malvinistas even more stupid than you.
    Together you still haven't managed to steal the Falkland lslands from us.
    Hard cheese, old man.

    May 25th, 2013 - 08:25 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Faz

    Venezualans have chosen the turd way..... Tony Blair would be proud.

    May 25th, 2013 - 09:54 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    For the duration of the emergency, Venezualans ar only allowed to eat on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
    Shitting is only permitted on Tuesday's, Thursdays and Saturdays.
    Sunday's are optional.

    May 25th, 2013 - 11:03 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Pirate Love

    @39 sounds like a right pain in the ass.

    May 25th, 2013 - 04:03 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Captain Poppy

    #39 I heard it was fat asses on Tuesdays and Thursdays......Saturdays for skinny asses and Sundays was the governments discretion for emergency use only...Maybe this is where the CIA is planning a coupe by planting laxatives in the food and forcing a run on toilet paper.........literally a run.

    May 25th, 2013 - 06:30 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    The Romans use to use a sponge on the end of a stick, historical fact.

    I foresee a problem though, how the hell are you going to keep Maduro still long enough to tie him to the end of the stick?

    May 26th, 2013 - 02:58 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • briton

    Apparently they they are so desperate that they have taken to putting images of Sean penn
    On the bog rolls just to sell em .lol.
    ,,,

    May 26th, 2013 - 06:28 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • reality check

    All joking aside, 7th oil producing country in the world, a member of OPEC and they do not have enough paper to wipe their asses. This has to be a story from the Twilight Zone!

    May 26th, 2013 - 07:53 pm - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Anglotino

    Hard to believe that Venezuela hasn't reached the extremely high technical level of industrialisation to make toilet paper.

    May 27th, 2013 - 02:01 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Captain Poppy

    We are talking about a country, an OPEC country with some of the largest proven oil reserves and they can't produce a surplus income from. That's like inheriting a billion dollars and making yourself into a millionaire.

    May 27th, 2013 - 03:21 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • lsolde

    @42 reality check,
    That is why, when camping in the Australian bush, you NEVER use a straight stick to stir the tea in the billy can!
    You don't know what its been used for!
    ALWAYS use a crooked knobbly stick.

    May 27th, 2013 - 07:47 am - Link - Report abuse 0
  • Captain Poppy

    Only in SA can you get stories like this to make the news, where eating 3 or 4 times a day create a toilet paper shortage. I am not sure which story is funnier; this one or the one where opposition and CIA is trying to destabilize Venezuela with a toilet paper shortage. How would one do that anyway.......feed them laxatives for a year?

    May 27th, 2013 - 06:41 pm - Link - Report abuse 0

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